Posting about ourselves reassures us that we exist, are seen, and that our lives matter.
I SHARE, THEREFORE I AM
Rene Descartes, the French mathematician and philosopher, is known for the phrase “I think, therefore I am”.
In the 21st century, his phrase would be updated to “I share, therefore I am”. Sharing photos or information about ourselves on social media is now standard practice; the minority who don’t share are often considered unusual. However, sharing is often not about communicating aspects of our lives with others so much as an act of self-reassurance. Posting about ourselves reassures us that we exist, are seen, and that our lives matter.
But what happens when our attempts at existential reassurance descend into oversharing, particularly on LinkedIn?
An article in Forbes from December 2023 claims that oversharing on LinkedIn has increased since the pandemic. The article claims that before the pandemic, oversharing on LinkedIn was worse than on Facebook or X (Formerly Twitter) and that post-pandemic, it has continued to increase on LinkedIn.
LinkedIn describes itself as the world’s largest professional network on the internet. A network that can be used to “find the right job or internship, connect and strengthen professional relationships and learn the skills required to succeed in your career”.
Why is there a growing problem with oversharing on a professional network, and does it matter?
Oversharing on LinkedIn
There are several reasons for an increase in oversharing, including social and cultural reasons and reasons arising from the nature of the platform itself. We will consider four of them.
1. The desire for connection
COVID was more than a health pandemic. The need to socially isolate disrupted our connections and sense of community cohesion.
In November 2023, The World Health Organisation (WHO) declared loneliness to be a pressing global threat and equated its mortality effects as equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
While we may be coming out of the COVID pandemic, as a community, we are not dealing with the pandemic of loneliness. The other consequence arising from COVID is the pervading sense of anxiety that ripples through society. Millennials and Gen Z are the generations most affected by this anxiety.
Feeling disconnected and anxious, it is easy to slip into oversharing as a way of trying to connect and pacify the underlying anxiety we may be feeling. We use oversharing to help manage these feelings, hoping that someone will respond and reassure us with a hallmark platitude.
The problem with hallmark platitudes is they are often the equivalent of placebos and fairy floss. They feel good at the time but prevent us from doing the hard work required to deal with our underlying sense of disconnection and anxiety.
2. The echo chamber of social media
When interacting face-to-face with a person, it is less likely we will overshare, particularly if we do not know the other person very well. For most people, a sense of reserve and the need to build trust with the other person we do not know very well prevents oversharing.
This natural reserve in face-to-face interactions gets inverted on social media platforms, including LinkedIn. Social media and LinkedIn become echo chambers where we can hear what we have said repeated back to us, amplified positively or negatively.
Part of the reason for this is the anonymity when posting on social media and LinkedIn. When posting on social media, we do not have “the other” in front of us, so the natural reserve that occurs in face-to-face interactions is missing, and we feel free to overshare. It is the hope that by sharing, people will come to understand us.
However, when multiple people use an anonymous space to try to be heard and understood, particularly when a sense of loneliness and anxiety infects this need, the result is a cacophony and anxiety, with everyone trying to hear an echo of what they have said that will reassure them.
3. The blurring of professional and personal boundaries
The last two decades have seen a shift from the strict separation of professional and personal boundaries. In today’s business world, these boundaries are often blurred and more difficult to separate.
Part of this shift was also a consequence of COVID-19 when people worked from home, and online meetings were often interrupted by the intrusion of people’s personal lives as young children and pets asserted their priority over work matters.
There has also been a shift in the theory of leadership. Now a leader is expected to demonstrate their personality, including their vulnerability and emotional intelligence, rather than leadership being a role they play within the organisation.
This shift often leads to confusion. Leaders think that oversharing personal information demonstrates their vulnerability and personality. The results of this confusion range from cringe-worthy to disastrous, as information inappropriate for the public realm may be shared. The challenge is getting the balance right.
Another aspect of this blurring of boundaries is particular to LinkedIn.
LinkedIn’s Connections are not necessarily your friends.
Connections on LinkedIn operate on degrees of separation. First-degree connections are those people who have accepted your invitation to connect or you have accepted their invitation to connect. Second-degree connections are those people who are connected to your first-degree connections.
Much like the attempt to have a large following on Instagram or X (formerly Twitter), many people on LinkedIn strive to collect first-degree connections. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that because you have “x” number of first-degree connections, you are connected in some way to these people, and therefore, they will be interested in all aspects of what you have to share.
The truth is that most first-degree connections don’t know you personally and are so busy living and dealing with the issues of their lives they aren’t particularly interested in or have the time to respond to the latest over-share of your life.
We all think the events of our lives are significant, and to us, they are. However, that importance does not necessarily extend to our first-degree connections on LinkedIn. There is a place for sharing personal information; however, we need to think through:
● Why we are sharing the information; and
● The impact it will have, if any, on people with whom we have no connection, apart from accepting their invitation to connect.
In November 2023, The World Health Organisation (WHO) declared loneliness to be a pressing global threat and equated its mortality effects as equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
4. The confusion between authenticity and over-sharing
One of the other reasons for oversharing is a distorted understanding of the meaning of authenticity.
Authenticity arises when we act according to our values, beliefs, and motives. Many people are unsure of their values and beliefs, which means how they act and what they say is determined by what they think is expected of them or what will give them attention. Oversharing or posting on LinkedIn about personal problems is not necessarily a sign of authenticity. It may simply be the sign of a person with an over-inflated ego or a person with weak personal boundaries seeking attention from others.
Does it really matter?
Does it really matter if we overshare on LinkedIn?
The answer to this question lies in how we want to be perceived and how much we value our personal brand.
We often think of branding as something companies and businesses must be concerned about, yet each of us has a personal brand. It is the impression other people, other professionals, have of us. Our brand is the constellation of qualities people associate with us when they hear our name. Our brand is our reputation.
If the values that drive our brand are things like:
● Being seen as credible;
● Having emotional intelligence in how we deal and respond to situations;
● Having clear boundaries between our professional and personal lives; and
● Being able to speak truth even when it is challenging.
then falling into the trap of oversharing damages our brand.
Why?
Because oversharing demonstrates:
● A lack of understanding of professional and personal boundaries.
● A lack of emotional intelligence. A component of emotional intelligence is the ability to self-soothe and manage unpleasant feelings when they arise. When we overshare, we often hope other people's responses help us manage our emotions.
● An unwillingness to take responsibility and do the hard work of resolving the issues we face. Rather than seeking a mentor or a therapist to assist, we use a public platform as a form of therapy.
Finding the balancE
How do we share in ways that are helpful to our personal brand and those who read and look at our posts?
a. Know your values
What are your core values?
We need to remember what our core values are and then allow these values to infuse the content and tone of what we share on LinkedIn.
b. Be clear about your audience
Who are you writing to?
Remember, most of those who will read your posts on LinkedIn do not know us. They are readers who are disinterested in the minutia of our lives because they are dealing with the details of their own lives.
If you were talking to this person face-to-face, would you share this information with them? If not, it is best not to share it online.
c. Set boundaries
Not everything needs to be shared. There are very few things that need to be shared. Thinking through what you are prepared to share and what is best kept private is essential. This is also where it is necessary to know your values because your values will assist in determining what to keep private and confidential.
D. SET BOUNDARIES
It is easy to become caught up in the excitement of sharing that we fail to consider the consequences of what is shared.
In considering the consequences, it is essential to listen to your intuition. If you are unsure whether to share something, it is probably best not to share and to err on the side of caution.
We commenced this article with the statement, “I share, therefore, I am”. When our sense of identity and who we are is connected by being ‘seen’ on LinkedIn, we will overshare because we seek gratification and reassurance from other people.
When we deal with our existential anxiety and our loneliness and live according to our values, we are less likely to overshare. We can build a strong reputation and personal brand as an authentic and personable professional.
